Visiting a loved one in prison is vital for both the prisoner and the family particularly for children no matter their age. It is the only way that you are able to physically see each other and touch one another, enjoying each other’s company. The visits enable both parties to receive reassurance of each other’s well being. Phone calls and letters, whilst they help to maintain contact, are not enough.
We are very grateful that we are able to visit my husband at least twice a month (every other weekend) however many people do not realise how difficult it is, financially and physically. This is largely due to the fact that he is imprisoned 275 miles away from us so it takes us 5 hours to get there by car and 5 hours back. We do not have a car therefore are reliant on the kindness of friends and generous people from the Ummah who facilitate lifts for us.
We spend hours at the prison waiting to be processed and finally enjoy a visit that usually lasts 1.5 hours. If we travel by train the total journey time is about 4.5 hours there and 4.5 hours back. The financial cost is phenomenal for a family of 5 including cabs to the prison. All of this puts a financial strain on our family. Alhamdullilah, Allah always helps us and finds us a way.
Ramadan comes with all the blessings endowed upon the believers by Allah and is naturally an uplifting time however, it is difficult not to feel the absence of my husband. Especially at iftar and suhoor, the children and I always reminisce about past times when he was at home with us. Moreover, there is a sense of guilt when we speak to him on the phone which makes us hesitant to express what we are having for iftar or how we are enjoying Ramadan as a family without him. It is a struggle to reconcile the loneliness that he must be feeling with the blessing of us being together at home without him. For example today, we were all saddened when we heard that he will be locked up in his cell 45 minutes before Iftar (until the following day) and is given a thermal container to keep his food warm which he would break his fast with, alone.
My youngest child just came to me to ask if we can book a prison visit on Eid day rather than spend it with our extended family. When I asked her why, she broke down in tears. She simply expressed what I was feeling: the immense sense of sadness that her father would be without us on Eid.
Despite all of the above, we understand that this is our test and everything that happens is by the decree of Allah. He (swt) would never test any of us with something that we cannot bear. My children understand that Allah will test us according to the level of our Iman therefore we remind each other that their father’s Iman must be very strong for him to endure this test. Alhamdullilah when he speaks to us and when we see him, he is always happy and joking and in strong Iman.
Alhamdullilah someone once said to my daughter that your family is honoured and loved by Allah because He tests those whom He loves. This is how we perceive our situation and we pray that any suffering we experience will expiate our sins and help us to attain Jannah.
*You can facilitate a family reunion this Ramadhan for £40 and by volunteering here